COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE HAD E.T. ENCOUNTERS: GIFTS AND CHALLENGES
by Shelley Tanenbaum, Psy.D
In 1999 I began my post-doctoral work in psychology with Dr. John Mack at PEER (the Program for Extraordinary Experience Research). Dr. Mack, the world-renowned Harvard psychiatrist, was exploring the phenomenon of alien abduction through his work with people who reported having ET experiences. He had already published the book Abduction (1995) and was about to publish Passport to the Cosmos, both based on his research.
As I sat with Dr. Mack and worked with 'experiencers' or 'abductees' directly, I was deeply moved to see some of my own struggles mirrored in them. Although I have no history of ET abduction, I had a spiritually transformative experience in 1971 that lasted several months and changed my life forever. Since that time, it has been my life challenge to integrate what happened, to discover how to live in the world authentically and to use my experiences as a contribution to others.
We have come to know that extraordinary experiences are significantly different and often less traumatic among indigenous cultures. It also seems that there is great diversity in the Universe, and while certain types of encounters are typically associated with trauma, others are inherently gentle and healing and thus, more easily integrated.
For most Experiencers, there is profound relief and hope in the presence of those who can see them without judgment; accept their confusion and their knowledge; create a safe space to reveal and process their experiences; and support the transformational work of evolution.
Below is a list of characteristics I observed in abductees. I offer this list to all those who have stepped outside of mainstream parameters, and who may likewise struggle to integrate their life-transforming experiences. I also offer it to those who work with Experiencers and wish to understand and appreciate them more fully. Many thanks to Karin Austin and Janis Pryor for their contributions and careful editing.
The list is divided into two parts. The first includes some of the gifts that may be either a consequence of extraordinary experiences or a natural predisposition. The second and longer part describes many of the challenges. Difficulty integrating extraordinary experiences (even the gifts) is to be expected, and may take many years or a lifetime.
Please note: This list is not exhaustive nor can it be generalized to all Experiencers. While the list focuses primarily on individuals with ET encounters, some of it will apply to individuals who have had other kinds of extraordinary experiences, such as near-death experiences, kundalini experiences, and other spiritual awakenings.
CHARACTERISTIC GIFTS OF EXPERIENCERS
o They have a significantly heightened awareness and sensitivity to their surroundings, to subtle energetic forces, and to the unseen but felt realities of people and their lives.
o They have a more holistic or multidimensional view/understanding of this world and the Universe. They are humbled by realising we are one among many forms of life beyond planet Earth.
o They recognise a spiritual dimension to the experiences and to the transformation that have occurred in their lives.
o They have special abilities, e.g., psychic, artistic, and/or healing skills.
o They may have a vague or intuitive sense of somehow or sometime 'choosing' the experience.
o They may experience an immediate recognition or unspoken resonance or bond with other Experiencers.
o They believe there is a greater good that will come from these experiences and they accept the personal cost.
o They wonder how to go to the next step: what can they do with what they know and feel?
CHARACTERISTIC CHALLENGES OF EXPERIENCERS Note: There has been no pre-defined sequence to how extraordinary experiences are processed. However, there are some patterns that may be observed along the way, e.g., from the initial shock to a sense of personal transformation and query into what comes next. This list is grouped with those patterns in mind.
o They may have memories of trauma, intense physical pain, and terror. They may feel disempowered, overwhelmed, or have a sense of being annihilated.
o They may have memory loss or feel confusion, embarrassment, denial, or dissociation.
o They may wonder about lost time, i.e., hours or days that cannot be accounted for.
o They are afraid of being 'crazy'.
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o They doubt their experience. They have a challenge fully believing it or believing themselves.
o Their experiences, sometimes ongoing, are difficult, if not impossible to integrate into ordinary life. It seems they can neither grasp them nor be free of them.
o They are fearful of this 'other world' that is associated with loss of control and traumatic experiences.
o In contrast to the above, they feel grief, loss and anger, being separated from a world that was more alive, vibrant, loving, familiar, or resonant. They want to 'Go Home'.
o They want an explanation of what happened to them and struggle with a range of intense feeling such as confusion, isolation, fear and frustration because no satisfying explanation is immediately available.
o They wonder, “Why Me? Why not my loved ones, neighbours or any one else?”
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o They are not the person they once believed themselves to be. Reality or the world view, as they knew it, has been shattered. (Dr. Mack called this 'ontologic shock'.)
o They experience a 'dual identity', i.e., they feel a split between the way people know them and the way they experience a part of themselves they keep hidden from others.
o They are cautious. They try to appear non-threatening and 'normal'.
o They are afraid others may see that they are different, or see in them something they cannot explain.
o They are afraid of being seen as 'crazy'.
o They have a secret. They are careful whom to tell about their experiences and frequently feel disappointed in the telling.
o They are likely to be pathologised by professionals. They have few, if any, resources available to help them cope with or process their experiences.
o They have difficulty sharing themselves fully with their partner or close friends.
o They will often withdraw after coming forward. They work to fit into social situations even though it may be unsatisfying or uncomfortable.
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o They are afraid of life changing even more and suffering further loss if their new experience of reality is embraced.
o The connection between or among Experiencers may be more powerful, compelling, or resonant than other relationships. They may avoid being with other Experiencers so as not to feel sadness and loss when they are apart.
o They need to bridge the gap between the old reality and the new one and are afraid of what the bridging may mean for their lives.
o They feel a responsibility to help change the world but don't know how.
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o They grapple with what comes after surviving their experiences.
o They struggle with how to hold the burden of knowledge that comes from their experiences and/or their special abilities.
Shelley Tanenbaum, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist and a senior Hakomi therapist. She is the creator of Intuitive Life Movement™, a personal and relational movement-based practice that brings practitioners into direct alignment with the Impersonal Self.
Shelley is grateful to Dr. John Mack for his courageous and pioneering research that gave her the opportunity to work with an extraordinary group of people and share an ongoing commitment to understanding and exploring life in this multi-dimensional Universe.